One day I lay in the grass
as white clouds congregated overhead
but I wasn't angry
because it's just those silly silver linings weighing them down.
That day I sat in my chair
as a glass stood before me, half full
but murky and poisoned
and I wished it was empty.
So today I'll fly on my fragile wings to those clouds
and peel away those pesky silver coils
so those clouds can fly too.
And then I'll tip that cup with a clumsy, dainty elbow
and I'll leave that toxic puddle on my floor.
Then I will lie beneath that naked sun
with a glass full of air to my right
and a smile for a mouth.
Again you surprise me with your talent. this is really good...it is getting closer to a unity where each word fits with the others...and it has a very strong tone that works through a number of paradoxes. Let's talk about this one in class...
ReplyDeletewow thank you so much! i definitely thought about my word choice a lot for this one.. i would love to hear input in class though!
ReplyDeleteBrooke, I am beyond words. This is your best poem so far, i love this. well done. seriosly. this is extraordinary. great job, i would to talk about this in class, that way i can go into specifics of what I love about it
ReplyDelete